These past few days have been stressful as hell and I just needed to dump out the contents of my flooded brain. I had tests last Thursday and Friday and then I had one this morning and I have one on Wednesday. I’ve been cooped up in my room or the library for the past week and a half studying, or at least trying to.
I can’t figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. There are literally so many things I could do. And I realize that no one can, or should, tell me what to do. It’s something I need to discover for myself. At the moment, I would love not to work 9-5 and I want to be able to do several things at once. I like being involved in the community. I love organizing events and seeing them come through successfully. I love to be in charge. This may not be the most selfless thing, but I really love praise. I love to hear people tell me I did a good job when I put my time and effort into something that I care about. So, I guess that means I want to create stuff. But what kind of stuff, I’m not quite sure.
I recently went to the ceremony for my Girl Scout Gold Award. When I was working on my project, I hated it and I really didn’t want to do it because I had already been accepted to college and so there was no incentive for me. But I’m really glad I did it. And the ceremony helped me to realize what a big deal take action projects are. We are helping our community. We are fixing problems that we face daily and locally. And that’s something I want to continue to do.